Oh the pause! Aside from the wisdom within this one (so much), the spacing works perfectly. It was made for bold spacing! I’m so glad you’ve come back to it and played with it again.
This has such an important lesson (one I still struggle with) and the spaces work so well with it 👏 you can feel the switch from urgency to breath. It’s lovely
This works so well, I love it! I’m thinking I should revisit some older poems and see what I can do, it’s not something I play with very often in my writing.
Thanks Ellen. I feel the same about revisiting old ones…with new eyes ☺️. I have just had a look at the link on your Instagram page Ellen & ordered your book…exciting!
Oh there’s something poetic in that too, isn’t there ✨ me and my kids going round the garden and identifying the many different shapes and colours and naming them bugs and me then taking that and writing this poem for you to share with your kids over breakfast ❤️
I found this quite challenging as I realise it’s not something I usually do much playing around with in my writing. I tend to be so focused on the words that the space on the page doesn’t take up much of my time. I tried to come up with some new things based on the prompt but haven’t really figured anything out yet, so I’m sharing an old poem which has a very little bit of playing around with white space in it! It’s about having a short nap one afternoon before the school run and how decadent that felt 😂😂
Decadence
This pocket of time is a gift,
to be unwrapped
s l o w l y
and savoured.
Skin touching cool sheets;
I allow my head to be cradled
by the tender embrace
of a soft pillow.
Our house is blanketed
with a rare hush:
l u x u r i a t e
in it.
Gradually, I succumb –
eyes closing
as I
sink
into a doze,
lips curved into a gentle smile.
(I would have the final line curved into a smile shape too, if I could be bothered to work out how to do that on here 😂😂)
I love this! I love the spacing of the letters to make you slow down in reading and it feels quiet, the whole thing, just gloriously quiet and lush ❤️👌
I wrote 2, one about trying breathe and another that fulfills the brief properly, metaphor ending and all, but it needed printing, small bit of drawing on, and photographing and the first won’t hold formatting here, so both are on my Substack piece today https://tamchennell.substack.com/p/poetry-pals-week-16-white-space-poetry?r=2mh4vu
Great stuff - Brooks' We Real Cool is one of the best poems of all time imo! What a poem - it's something I can just bask in. My buddy Laurence put me on to her work. Wowza! Same with the Winnie the Pooh poem (I will never concede that these were written by anyone other than W.T. Bear) - I read both Pooh books once a year at least, and reflecting on it, I think he was probably my first major poetic influence. I still use the bracketed phrases, a technique he is very fond of (I even have a post about the same poem sitting in my drafts haha). :-)
Oh I don’t think I’ve ever used brackets. And now it’s all I can do to drop everything and try 🤣. Do u have a favourite W.T bear poem (enjoying how we are now on acronym terms)?
And agree entirely about We Real Cool. Exceptional poem.
Love me a bracket - though according to my son (has a writing degree) they are over used and shouldn’t be - dashes are the thing. Which of course makes me use brackets even more.
I think the one you posted, though I am partial to his sound poem experiments, like;
.
Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum.
Tiddle-iddle, tiddle-iddle,
Tiddle-iddle, tiddle-iddle,
Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um.
.
That'd give the avant-garde poets of the 1910s a run for their money ;-) But there are so many! His poem for Piglet's bravery is amazing. And his final poem to Christopher Robin, at the end of House at Pooh Corner is touching - and uses brackets beautifully;
.
Christopher Robin is going.
At least I think he is.
Where?
Nobody knows.
But he is going—
I mean he goes
(To rhyme with "knows")
Do we care?
(To rhyme with "where")
We do
Very much.
(I haven't got a rhyme for that "is" in the second line yet. Bother.)
(Now I haven't got a rhyme for bother. Bother.)
Those two bothers will have to rhyme with each other. Buther.
I had such fun yesterday reading poetry with you all. What a lovely break in my day. I'll have to set aside more time next time. All the poems here are just fabulous. I love playing space and moving my words all over page. I haven't had time to do anything new this week, though I've been playing a lot with couplets.
I wrote mine, then wrote it again because my stupid computer decided to delete it and swap it for something else, and gave me no option to replace it, ironically it's about panic attacks, which I almost had when posting....
I love how white space works - and you're right reading aloud really makes it come to life. I've not written anything new this week but it's something I use a lot in my poetry. One of my favourites is here https://kathrynannawrites.substack.com/p/dust
It's the title poem from my pamphlet,designed to represent grief in a very physical way - I'd love your thoughts!
Thank you so much - yes I like them both. It was such a good poem to write. It grew after watching films of cooling tower demolition for another project and just evolved into this expression of grief for my brother. It's a special poem to me.
I re-wrote an older poem I’d written when I would never have dared to be all bold with line spacing!!…
T H E P A U S E
When compulsion to prove my point overcomes me and my need to respond is fuelled by urgency,
My mind races to be right
My senses rise to the fight
And then
I reluctantly
remember…
The Pause
The humbling, painful
pause
The uncomfortable, brakes-on
pause
The beautiful, let-things-sit
pause
That turns my focus from agitation
To curious investigation
Unravelling my defences to uncover
a deeper wisdom
The Pause
that is active, yet still
Noticing, but not heavy lifting
Permission granter for things to unfold
Space creator for quiet questions to evolve
The tangled ball of wool unlaced slowly saves irreversible knots
Oh the pause! Aside from the wisdom within this one (so much), the spacing works perfectly. It was made for bold spacing! I’m so glad you’ve come back to it and played with it again.
Thanks so much for the inspiration to play Nelly!
We all need a box of pauses in our lives.
I recognize (and need) the Pause so much every day! I love how this poem is an analysis of a thought but ends on a wonderful image that says so much.
This has such an important lesson (one I still struggle with) and the spaces work so well with it 👏 you can feel the switch from urgency to breath. It’s lovely
Thanks Zoe 🥰
This has a wonderful rhythm to it. I can hear being read outloud.
Thanks LeeAnn. I’ve recorded it now as audio on here. Felt like I was in double speed at the start and half speed at the end!… https://open.substack.com/pub/angedisbury/p/the-pause?r=2qii2&utm_medium=ios
This works so well, I love it! I’m thinking I should revisit some older poems and see what I can do, it’s not something I play with very often in my writing.
Thanks Ellen. I feel the same about revisiting old ones…with new eyes ☺️. I have just had a look at the link on your Instagram page Ellen & ordered your book…exciting!
I had fun writing this one ❤️
#16: Anti-pesticide:
My front garden is a universe
See
How the Rosemary Beetle strolls
Past the lavender
bushes
Stopping
Just to say
Good morning
To the Ladybird
And the still sleeping
Low flying Crane Fly
Hanging around
The dandelion
Seed heads
And the
Wild
Mustard.
They all hide
From the larger
Than life Blackbirds,
Robins and the angry
Magpie whilst the Honey
Bee and the Bumble Bee play
For nectar. The Stag Beetle and
The Thick-legged Flower Beetle
Commune over fresh petal
And Aphid, shared with
The Harlequin Ladybird.
Later, the Elephant
Hawk Moth giant
Will spread its
Wings at
Night
As the
Common
Pipistrelle
Bat will swoop
By for his evening
Breakfast and
The Frogs
Will sing
From the
Broken Belfast
Sink and sure, the
Buttercups have gotten
Slightly carried away and
Grown a bit taller than
Perhaps I’d wish
But listen
Listen
To the universe
As it hums
It’s glorious tune.
I just showed this one to my kids over breakfast. Gorgeously humming
Oh there’s something poetic in that too, isn’t there ✨ me and my kids going round the garden and identifying the many different shapes and colours and naming them bugs and me then taking that and writing this poem for you to share with your kids over breakfast ❤️
The bends in the shape sounded like the humming of insects wings to me.
I really like how the shorter lines caused me to read more slowly and deliberately, savoring the images.
This works so wonderfully Zoe, it’s completely alive! Brilliant work 🤩
Exactly as Tamsin said, for me, too!
Beautiful Zoe! It’s wild and winding and flowing and free! I’m there! 🍀🌼🌸🐝
I found this quite challenging as I realise it’s not something I usually do much playing around with in my writing. I tend to be so focused on the words that the space on the page doesn’t take up much of my time. I tried to come up with some new things based on the prompt but haven’t really figured anything out yet, so I’m sharing an old poem which has a very little bit of playing around with white space in it! It’s about having a short nap one afternoon before the school run and how decadent that felt 😂😂
Decadence
This pocket of time is a gift,
to be unwrapped
s l o w l y
and savoured.
Skin touching cool sheets;
I allow my head to be cradled
by the tender embrace
of a soft pillow.
Our house is blanketed
with a rare hush:
l u x u r i a t e
in it.
Gradually, I succumb –
eyes closing
as I
sink
into a doze,
lips curved into a gentle smile.
(I would have the final line curved into a smile shape too, if I could be bothered to work out how to do that on here 😂😂)
I've had those naps (a lot of them lately; it's been a tiring time!) and they are such a rich little gift.
‘Our house is blanketed
with a rare hush’ 🤍
Oh I feel this Ellen. So true, the rare and precious hush before the storm 😆. Love it
Thank you so much Ange, yes it is very precious 😂
I love this! I love the spacing of the letters to make you slow down in reading and it feels quiet, the whole thing, just gloriously quiet and lush ❤️👌
Thank you Zoe, so glad you like it 😍
Really enjoy the spacing - it gives the words so much more impact
Thank you ❤️
Perfect
I'm not as used to this kind of poetry...
When I place my head next to yours, our cheeks side by side,
I inhale
Your scent.
The air becomes cleaner.
I am purified.
Of all the hards and fatigue. I am regulated.
Right here as I breathe. Reset.
You need me. Needs to be met. For a long time you will need me. Intensely.
Right now, I need you.
We are a perfect dyad of infinity.
I love this:
"I am purified.
Of all the hards and fatigue. I am regulated.
Right here as I breathe."
A perfect dyad of infinity 😍❤️ love it
Oh this is beautiful, it really resonates with me ❤️
Ah this has taken me back to when my children smelt nice 😆🤍. Lovely Ria x
I like the flow on this. And the imagery.
I wrote 2, one about trying breathe and another that fulfills the brief properly, metaphor ending and all, but it needed printing, small bit of drawing on, and photographing and the first won’t hold formatting here, so both are on my Substack piece today https://tamchennell.substack.com/p/poetry-pals-week-16-white-space-poetry?r=2mh4vu
Sorry you will need to click through.
I don’t mind a wander over!!
Reading your poems makes me want to play with this format more. I love how you've made it so visually rich to look at as well as read.
Thank you
These are both fantastic, Tamsin, I think you’ve used the space perfectly!
Definitely worth the extra click 👌
Great stuff - Brooks' We Real Cool is one of the best poems of all time imo! What a poem - it's something I can just bask in. My buddy Laurence put me on to her work. Wowza! Same with the Winnie the Pooh poem (I will never concede that these were written by anyone other than W.T. Bear) - I read both Pooh books once a year at least, and reflecting on it, I think he was probably my first major poetic influence. I still use the bracketed phrases, a technique he is very fond of (I even have a post about the same poem sitting in my drafts haha). :-)
Oh I don’t think I’ve ever used brackets. And now it’s all I can do to drop everything and try 🤣. Do u have a favourite W.T bear poem (enjoying how we are now on acronym terms)?
And agree entirely about We Real Cool. Exceptional poem.
Love me a bracket - though according to my son (has a writing degree) they are over used and shouldn’t be - dashes are the thing. Which of course makes me use brackets even more.
🤣🤣
Hahahaha - amazing. Big fan of both brackets and em-dashes personally. :-)
I think the one you posted, though I am partial to his sound poem experiments, like;
.
Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Tra-la-la, tra-la-la,
Rum-tum-tiddle-um-tum.
Tiddle-iddle, tiddle-iddle,
Tiddle-iddle, tiddle-iddle,
Rum-tum-tum-tiddle-um.
.
That'd give the avant-garde poets of the 1910s a run for their money ;-) But there are so many! His poem for Piglet's bravery is amazing. And his final poem to Christopher Robin, at the end of House at Pooh Corner is touching - and uses brackets beautifully;
.
Christopher Robin is going.
At least I think he is.
Where?
Nobody knows.
But he is going—
I mean he goes
(To rhyme with "knows")
Do we care?
(To rhyme with "where")
We do
Very much.
(I haven't got a rhyme for that "is" in the second line yet. Bother.)
(Now I haven't got a rhyme for bother. Bother.)
Those two bothers will have to rhyme with each other. Buther.
.
So good! :-)
I love how he is using the brackets to narrate in this one, it’s so good 😍
Hehe - saaaaaame! :-)
Now We Are Six is one of the first poems that I remember being read to me 🤍
I had such fun yesterday reading poetry with you all. What a lovely break in my day. I'll have to set aside more time next time. All the poems here are just fabulous. I love playing space and moving my words all over page. I haven't had time to do anything new this week, though I've been playing a lot with couplets.
Was so very lovely to get to see and hear you x
I wrote mine, then wrote it again because my stupid computer decided to delete it and swap it for something else, and gave me no option to replace it, ironically it's about panic attacks, which I almost had when posting....
you can read it here
https://open.substack.com/pub/lisaandradez/p/the-anatomy-of-a-panic-attack?r=2rd9w&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web&showWelcomeOnShare=true
I love this image:
"I am sailing on calm waters once again
no longer in danger of shipwreck"
Thank you :)
Oh this is amazing and the spacing is really part of the poem. It slows down as you start breathing.
This is so gorgeous and incredibly effective in this form ❤️
Thank you 😊
Love the water image. It’s so effective. Visceral x
I love how white space works - and you're right reading aloud really makes it come to life. I've not written anything new this week but it's something I use a lot in my poetry. One of my favourites is here https://kathrynannawrites.substack.com/p/dust
It's the title poem from my pamphlet,designed to represent grief in a very physical way - I'd love your thoughts!
That’s gorgeous, Kathryn 😍
Thank you Ellen, really appreciate your kind words 😊
This is beautiful.
Thank you Tamsin 😊
So effective! I felt like I just experienced something in slow motion 🤍
Thank you Ange - it's a poem that means a lot xx
Oh I love this one ❤️ I’d watched it as a film but not seen it written down and the shape of it is beautiful.
Thank you - it really is one of those that wrote itself.
I read then watched. It looks so delicate on the page. I can’t decide which way I liked more. Both!!
Thank you so much - yes I like them both. It was such a good poem to write. It grew after watching films of cooling tower demolition for another project and just evolved into this expression of grief for my brother. It's a special poem to me.
I loved hearing you read the poem.
Thank you so much LeeAnn - it's a really special poem to me and it's really good to share it again xx
I love reading all your poems on a Saturday morning when everyone else is still in bed ❤️ thank you 🙏🏼
I went back to one of my older poems that has more deliberate spacing that I've felt very strongly about, through many edits. But now I'm curious to write something fresh and see what I can do with the spacing. https://open.substack.com/pub/margaretannsilver/p/ode-to-my-book?r=2ghube&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Playing with form is so cool in poetry, how the white space adds to the meaning almost as much as the words do—amazing selection!
Especially like Stapleton Road. (And love the bear/ poet with very little brain - of course!)