I’ve mused this week on the term self-acceptance, as opposed to self-love - as per this post from Sunday. It feels more achievable. Perhaps, even, kinder? Love can be fierce and heady and, let’s face it, rocky. Although also, worth fighting for.
I concluded that I’d take either. That taking either - taking neither some days, a little of one or the other the next - was in fact itself more loving. Or maybe one is a gateway into the other. Maybe one is the big dream and the other a more realistic daily path. Maybe one is a life-jacket for the other.
I also reflected (thank you
) on the circuitous nature of self love. I am more gentle with myself, I am then able to be more gentle with others, which in turn makes it easier to be more gentle with myself.Here are three poems that discuss some of what I think we are talking about:
Wonder Woman by Ada Limón. If this image is a little small then head to the On Being website where not only can you read it but listen to it read out loud by
. BTW, the Poetry Unbound podcast is my all time favourite poetry podcast and the Substack is also brilliant (I’m sure you’ll already know that).Spring Again, by Ella Sadie Guthrie, from the collection Scorpio Szn, published by Write Bloody Publishing.
Megan Married Herself, by Caroline Bird, from the collection 'In These Days of Prohibition', published by Carcanet. You can hear her read it here. This is one of those poems that I’ve read three or four times and found a different meaning each time. It starts in one place and ends up somewhere else entirely. Isn’t it great. I read somewhere recently that great poetry does this. It leaves enough room for the reader. Ooh maybe it could be one for the next Poetry Pals live poetry event in May - it would be a great one to discuss (read more about that event here).
Tell me, which of the above poems is your favourite?
Or do you have a poem you’d like to share this week?
Can be on theme, or any poem that you are proud of writing in the week that was. Even just a poem that you’ve read this week. Please don’t think you have to have a fully written and edited poem to join in the conversation. You might notice that I rarely have one of these, but I’m here for the chat!
Nelly x
I blooming love the Ada Limon Wonder Woman poem, I read it in Padraig's book, Poetry unbound a while back and loved it then, I think I need a daily read of it, it's so good!!
Anyway, here's my offering, wrote a while back, but edited more recently, apologies (or not) for the expletive at the end, but I think it's relevant and so refuse to remove it or tame it, so it stays...
//
To the girl with the crooked teeth
.
To the girl with crooked teeth and wild curly hair
You are perfect
You do not need to compare yourself to anyone else in this big wide world
because you my dearest one
are enough
You make the world smile when you do
Just keep being you
Don't start that diet
your body is perfect
Just as it is
Don't try to fit in
you were meant to stand out
and don't let anyone convince you otherwise
Be brave, couragious and know your own mind
before others come along and try and change it for you
because they will try
so hold on tight to that brilliant mind
and it's quirky imagination
Speak lovingly to yourself
Every day
Even when nobody else does
Because you
Are a masterpeice
even when you don't feel it, and
when the doubts come (which they will)
and the fatigue hits (which it will)
and everything in you turns to hatred
of all that you think is you,
Stop! turn off the phone, hold your head up high
and tell yourself, in the loudest voice you can summon
you are a fucking QUEEN!!!
Ooh Nelly I love those poems. I especially adore Spring Again, I think Ella Sadie Guthrie has captured an exact feeling I know so well ❤️ Ada Limon’s one is really intriguing, definitely one I need to read again!
I love this topic - I have so many thoughts and feelings on it, and this is me trying to say the minimum but it’s still going to be really long - I’m sorry! First, if it’s ok I’ll share an extract of something I wrote a while back where I reflected on the way it feels to come from a close family, and be the youngest. Because I think that’s given me a higher than average sense of self and appreciation for myself… like, having that kind of friendship and unconditional love for your whole life means you believe you must be pretty ok, so it’s easier to like yourself? 😂
“I wonder if I am only ever ok because of the safety net provided by my kin. This net is crafted with enough security and strength to ensure that I have never felt the horror of a free-fall - every time my heart sinks or breaks it is caught, held gently in the palms of parents and older siblings. I walk paths they haven't travelled but they are alongside me, keeping me away from a cliff edge. This does not waver or falter over the decades; we are bound, a tapestry ever growing, woven tighter each year.”
And I want to acknowledge self love in terms of our bodies. As someone who’s gained a lot of weight in the past 8 years, I’ve found it’s taken some work but has ultimately been so liberating trying to love myself in a bigger body, to think of myself as attractive. So I wrote this piece about the days when I feel 🔥 and it got published in an issue of Free Verse Revolution Lit 😍
Slake
I embody abundance —
magic flows from the folds of my thighs.
Pools of desire found
in the soft roundness
of my belly, ready to satiate.
Tighten your fingers around my curves,
clutch the flesh covering my hips
and feast on my full fat,
extra sugar honey.
****
And finally (forgive me!) - my friend sent us a voice note recently instructing us not just to blow our own trumpet but to play the whole orchestra for ourselves. So I’ll say it to you all too - dedicate a symphony to yourself ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (I actually tried to do this this week but it’s essentially a very prosaic list so I haven’t shared it here as it’s really boring to read hahaha!!)
Thanks for reading my thesis 🙈😂